Just Another Day !

Aniol shifted his position and looked at Namita, who glared at him with red burning eyes. She looks like Medusa. Bang! Came the bowl on the table and drops of milk spilled on the newly bought table cloth. Aniol jumped on his seat, taken aback by the sudden display of violence. He ran into the kitchen and got a paper towel to wipe off the mess. I better clean it before she blames me.

Namita tossed her long tangled hair, made it into a bun and pushed her clip inside. Her chest was heaving with anger. She stood for a minute and turned to Aniol, “What on earth made you think like that? I do so much for you and look at you. Do you really think about me. …”. Aniol lost her after the first sentence. His thought travelled back to the first part of the morning when he woke up with a big grin on this face. It was Saturday and he craved for this weekend to unwind the tiredness from work. Hmm, I got up, made tea for Nams and then….what happened? Did I not put the milk can outside, that’s a silly reason. Looking at the intensity of her anger, it seems much worse, must be…

“God! Are you even listening to me, Aniol. Now you will start ignoring me as if nothing happened. Good. If that is the way you will treat me and this situation, I will also have…”

Aniol got up, his head was buzzing with overdose of words, words that seemed cryptic. He took his cigarette pack and lighter, and stormed out of the house, leaving a baffled Namita behind.

Ah! My head is aching. I know I am doing a big mistake by walking out when she was still talking, but I need to get out. Aniol started walking, looking down at the narrow foothpath, jumping over every hole like a small kid.

It is Aniol’s 8th year in Pune. He had come over from US for a project expansion. The India offshore team was doing well and he wanted to expand the horizon and explore new possibilities. Within 2 months, he had defined new goals for them and soon he became their favourite. But Aniol missed home, he missed his friends, his family, the known roads and favourite joints that he frequently visited. And he yearned for Racheal, his ex who thought that Aniol was a self- obsessed freak.

His home-sickness became so evident by the end of the third month that one of his colleagues decided to call him for a dinner party. Aniol was excited about this party; it was an event after a long time. But soon the evening turned out to be a mental stress. Everybody knew everybody else and nobody had time for him. And he hated the way people ogled at him. The last thing he wanted was special attention from everyone. He wanted to mingle with the crowd; he wanted to be a part and not the talk of the party. Aniol took his beer bottle and sat on the sofa, looking at peoples’ faces. His eyes fell upon a girl with black velvet dress who kept shifting in her chair. She tossed her dark hair aside revealing the most beautiful skin that Aniol had seen. It seemed like honey, shining brightly under the light. Aniol took another sip and sat upright for a better view. Hmm looks like she bought the dress specially for this party. She is so uncomfortable, look at the way she is trying to avoid the ogling eyes of others… just like me.

Aniol stood up, emptied the bottled and tossed it in the bin. He stretched his shirt and walked up to her.
“Hi!”
“Oh! Hi…ah”.
“I am Aniol, I am Satish’s friend.”
“Oh ok. Me too.” She smiled and looked down at the knees. Aniol knew she was getting conscious about the length of the dress. “I am Namita, by the way.”
“Oh, what? Naaamita?”.
“N.A.M.I.T.A. Call me Nams, please. I think you will spoil my name.”
Aniol laughed out loud. “Do you want a drink, Nams?”.

It was Namita who showed Aniol the better side of Pune, the culture, the forts, the weekend getaways and the ever-vibrant night clubs. Aniol was in love with Pune and he no longer felt the eyes of the passersby haunting him. He got used to the attention and now he seemed to enjoy it. Aniol was in love with Namita.

Aniol grew tired of walking. He quickly entered the nearby park and sat down on the freshly cut grass. I am hungry and thirsty. I could have at least eaten something before leaving. Now I will find nothing if I go back home. Irritated with his sudden outburst, he lit a cigarette. He had promised Namita to leave smoking after their marriage. And they have been married for 2 good years now. Marriage…. Even that was such a dramatic moment.

Waiting in the café to meet Namita, Aniol was thinking about marriage. He was ready to pop the question of marriage any day. He just didn’t know whether to approach her or her family first, trying to be the ideal Indian groom who respects the elders. But he was ready to take the plunge. He wanted her more than anything else. His thought was interrupted by Namita, storming in. She sat down, pushed her hair and burst, “I don’t think I want to continue this anymore.”

“What? Are you breaking up with me? Nams, what just happened? You were fine this morning.”
“Yes, I am fine. Its just that, I like stability in life. I cannot live with this uncertainity and neither can my parents. And you have no right to play with our lives.”
“I am playing with your life or your parents? I don’t understand a thing Nams. I think you need a drink. You want your usual Cupp..”.
“NOO, I don’t Aniol. I want things that I can’t explain to you. I want a life like everyone else.”

The conversation went on for hours, before Aniol encrypted it to find out that Namita wanted to get married, exactly what he wanted. Marriage was quick, followed by honeymoon in the US so that Namita could get to know Aniol’s family, as well.

Aniol was happy in India. He found a friend, a wife and a family. Friend was Namita’s brother, Swapnil, the best person who can decipher her coded words and to hear Aniol out. Being a wife, Namita, gave a new direction to his life. And he loved Namita’s family who accepted him the way he is and loved him like their own. Aniol did everything to be part of this grand family, even learned the very language. Learning new language, that was also another fiasco!

Namita, came closer to Aniol and whispered, “Ani..Aniol, I want to learn Polish”
“Hmm..” Aniol was sleepy and in no state for small talks.
“Listen to me Aniol”. Namita pulled him to face her. “I want you to teach me Polish.”
“Why do you want to learn Polish..hmm?”.
“What do you mean why? I want to speak to your mother. See, you have learnt Marathi and Hindi so well.”
Aniol, opened his eyes wide, “My dear, you speak to my mother quite well in English. You both understand the language.”
“Well, don’t you think she would feel more comfortable speaking in her own native language?”.
“No. She doesn’t know Polish well and neither do I. Let’s sleep, you know it’s already 2.”
“What do you mean she doesn’t know? Aren’t you Polish by birth?”
“Yes, we are. But my ancestors moved to the US long back and nobody knows how to speak.”
“Rubbish… my cousins were born in the US too. Look at them, they speak Marathi so fluently. It’s just an excuse. Just say you won’t teach me. I can deal with that but not these funny excuses.”

Aniol had a sleepless night, not because of the fight that unfolded but because of the fear to learn Polish and then teach her. Books were bought which adorned the bookshelf. Namita never mentioned about her fascination to learn the new language anymore. It was like an incident that never happened.

Ouch! The cigarette stub burnt his finger. What time is it? I think I should tell Nams where I am or she will worry herself to death. Or torture me with her outburst. Damn! I left my phone at home. I better get going.

Aniol came home, fearing the repercussions of the afternoon. He rang the bell waiting for the wail to come from the other side. Namita opened the door and jumped on him and started crying.

“Hey, what happened? Its ok baby, don’t cry. Look I am sorry, for whatever I did.”.
“Where did you go? You know I thought you left me and went away.”.
Aniol laughed and held Namita to look at her. “Why would I leave you?”
“I don’t know. You are a Po…I mean… you don’t know Indian valu… I mean, forget it. I thought you left me, like Shridhar walked out on his wife. I thought you went back to the US. You know I was going to call the airport to find out about the flights”.
“Hey, hey, look at me. I am not leaving you and going anywhere. I love you and married you so that we can stay together always, ok?”.
“Ok”, sobbed Namita. “I feel good now, let’s go out for dinner today. Let us do something special. Are you hungry, should I make something? I love you, you know that right?”.

The day was more than Aniol could ask for. They went for a movie, ate at a poolside restaurant and made love like it was their first time.

Aniol loved mornings, especially Sunday mornings. It meant typical Polish breakfast by an Indian cook, Namita, followed by gardening. And he was amused today.

“Why are you smiling?”, enquired Namita.
Aniol laughed this time. “Why… you ask me. Well, because of you.”.
“Me, eh? And may I know why”, asked Namita, curious as to what she did to amuse him so much.
“Well, lets see. For first you thought I left you, then you thought I took the flight to Ohio. Then you thought I left for US wearing my Jackson t-shirt and torn shorts. You are funny Nams. I mean, where do you get these ideas from? You should make a movie, with dramatic endings and …”.
Aniol stopped, he looked at Namita’s eyes. Medusa.

The phone rang. Namita picked it up. “Yes Swapnil. I am fine and I don’t feel like talking to you. Why don’t you talk to your best friend.”.
She put the phone on the table and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Aniol, sighed and picked up the phone, “Hey man. How are you doing?”.
“I am fine. But I don’t think you are. Whats happening?”.
Aniol, signed again, “Nothing, it’s just another day..”.

M.I.R.A.G.E.

M.I.R.A.G.E. …..Ruby spelt it out for her daughter, Olive. What a topic for an essay. What happened to those old time topics like “Monsoon” or “Summer Vacation”.

“What does it mean, Mum. I could not understand the teacher”. Ofcourse, you won’t sweetheart. You are just 4 years old and look what essays your teachers are making the kids write. Ruby sighed and smiled, “It’s easy, shona, look mirage is an illusion you see. “Ok”, replied Olive, not convinced and definitely not enlightened. Ruby tried one more time, but the disappointment in her daughter’s eyes reflected back.

“Look, Oli, let us sit with it during the weekend and I will show you images and examples so that you understand. Also, sweetheart, there is a scientific reasoning to its occurrence. I will explain everything to you. You have to submit the essay on Monday, right?”. “Yes, mum”, gleamed Olive, assured that she will make it to school with her essay; she had full faith on her mother.

Phew! Ruby kissed her daughter’s forehead and asked her to hurry up for school. Ruby has been in a very bad mood. It was her birthday tomorrow and Madhur wasn’t even planning anything. Last month they had agreed on a trip to Kerala, but he is not even talking about it now. And Ruby was too egoistic to speak about it again.
Maybe, he thinks we have grown too old for birthdays. But I am not asking for a grand party, all I am asking is a simple quiet celebration with family. C’mon we hardly get to spend time together these days. It’s either work or school or boring routined chores.

Ruby shrugged of the thought. I have a presentation at office and I cannot afford to look disturbed. Silly me. She quickly got ready, and went inside Olive’s room to see her dressed and ready to leave for school. I am so proud of Oli, she is the ideal daughter. And is she growing up so fast.

“Papa is going to drop you to school today, Oli. I have a meeting to attend. So wait for him to come back from the gym, ok? Also have breakfast both of you, it’s on the table.”. She kissed her forehead again and hugged her tight. She felt so relaxed. I have you, Oli. What else do I need?

Ruby was feeling happy. She instructed the maid with the list of things to do and left the house. She clutched her purse and looked at the jingle that Olive made for her birthday last year. Hmm, gifts from Oli for one week. This time I got nothing. Maybe she is growing up or am I going far away from her. Am I not that loving and caring Mum anymore. Instantly, she felt guilty of leaving her daughter alone at home. Oh! God, I have to go to work.

Once in office, Ruby’s day passes like a whirlwind. She hardly has time for a proper lunch and today she has presentations and meetings lined up for the day. Ruby loved presentations, she was very good and she knew it. But today she felt distracted, she felt a little lonely.

At the end of the day, Ruby was exhausted. Work took away most of her energy and her war with her emotions left her paralyzed. She turned on the car engine, dreading to go home and see nothing for her, nothing special. Slowly she parked her car in the parking lot and walked up the stairs. She rang the doorbell and waited for few minutes, but no one answered. Hmm Laxmi must have taken Oli out, but at this time?

Worried, she took out the keys and opened the door. The house looked dark, she saw candle light flickering in the distance. What is that? Hey, are they planning a surprise party for me. Ohh! How nice. Ruby threw her laptop bag on the sofa and managed to walk straight towards the light, smiling and waiting in anticipation for something to happen. She heard mumbling voices, but nothing happened. The candle light flickered several times. I think I see people, is that Chaitali or just a shadow. I do smell food, wow, what have they planned? I am sure Madhur has ordered my favourite Tiramisu Cheesecake from Ol Factory. What is that in the darkness, balloons? What! That’s too much. I am not a kid anymore. But what is happening. Why doesn’t anything happen.

Ruby, now irritated, asked, “Anyone here?”. She saw a figure stand upright, “Didi, when did you come? No light in the house since one hour.”. That was Laxmi. Olive came running from somewhere and hugged Ruby, “Mum, Laxmi didi was telling me a horror story. It was so cool.”. Ruby found it difficult to speak. She went and turned on the main switches that had tripped. Light streamed in instantly. She looked around hoping to see the crowd. Oh, what am I? 6? Nothing like surprise parties happen these days. And look at me, what all I saw and how illusion played a trick on my mind. Ah! Mirage!

Ruby smiled, called for Olive and said, “So Oli, are you ready for the essay?” “But, Mum, I thought we are doing it in the weekend.”. “Well, let’s do it now.”. Ruby instructed the maid about dinner and told Olive to wait for 5 mins. Now, I can explain Oli what Mirage is. Gosh. My illusions seemed so real. I really wanted something special to happen. Well, not always can you get everything.

Ruby changed and went in front of the mirror. She saw herself, her eyes gorging in with tiredness. Her eyes fell upon an envelope that read, “Something for you”. Isn’t that Madhur’s handwriting…hmm. Ruby opened the envelope and out came three tickets. What! Paris and London, for 2 weeks. What is all this. Oh my god, such a fool, I am . Ofcourse, Madhur you heard me all right. Ruby looked at the mirror again, not caring a bit about the groggy eyes. Mirage, eh? If you think right, it will never be mirage, it can be reality. And if you are patient, you will get more than what you imagined.

Ruby rushed to Olive’s room. Before, she could say anything, Olive looked at her and said, “Mommy, looks like you got Papa’s envelope”.

Just a little prayer for you and me

Noor, looked at her watch. It was still 1.15 a.m. She closed her eyes and tried to wrap herself with the heavy blanket. She tossed it off again, ahh, How can I feel so hot?

It is one of those freezing days of December and Delhi seemed to welcome the winter with open hands. People, who have no geographical sense or interested in creating sensational news were actually rumouring about a possible snowfall soon.

Noor, struggled herself out of the bed, irritated enough to make a racket. She felt like waking Salim and telling him she cannot sleep and how on earth is he sleeping so soundly. She felt a sudden chill, quickly wrapped around the shawl and went to the kitchen.

The moment she entered, she stopped. Why am I in the kitchen, now? Oh, what is happening? Focus, Noorie. She stood for few seconds and then smiled. She took a bottle, sat down on the kitchen slab. The water was freezing cold, she shivered after every gulp. Enough!

Noor jumped down and thought Shit, don’t do all this now, be careful, silly! She tiptoed into the drawing room, carefully trying to find the remote in the darkness. She knew Salim must have kept it on the side of sofa; he will never ever keep it back on the TV rack, even if she threatens him to. The TV started off with a blast… Uff, Salim’s stupid action movies.

She switched to her favourite channel, BBC Entertainment for any cookery show. What a fool I am, which woman will watch a cookery show at 1.30 at night. They were showing the recession impact in the USA during the 80s.

She stared at the TV, eyes flickering as each image changed. Noor was hardly listening or watching. She slowly touched her tummy. I have never been this fat. Gosh, I am only eating, but I don’t care, as long as Salim doesn’t care. She smiled and her smile vanished. She took her hand of her stomach and closed her eyes, looking for sleep.

She pulled off her shawl and wrapped herself instantly. Is it hot or cold? Noor switched off the TV and went to the other room. The moon light was streaming into the bright yellow painted room, making it even more striking. She sat on the bed and looked around. No furniture in this room, for how long? But we decided to keep it like this, till the very special day. She smiled again.

Noor clasped her hands together and rested her head on it. God, please do hear me out this time. I will not be able to take it again. Positive, positive, please…

She looked up and thought, what if nothing happens. She has to look for another alternative, another way to distract herself from the anguish. I will join a crèche, no, I cannot be with someone else’s kids. I think I will start my dance school. Ofcourse, why didn’t I think of this before. …shut up. Why think of the worse. It will be positive, I cannot be third time unlucky.

She rested her strained back on the bed and closed her eyes. Maybe I should think positive. In an instant, she slept off.

It was almost 9 a.m. when Salim shook her hand and asked, “Are you fine, Noorie?”. Noor sprang up from the bed, looked here and there and clutched Salim’s shirt collar. “What happened, Noorie? Are you OK?”.

“No, I am not feeling OK. I am feeling sick with anxiety.” She rushed to the bathroom, leaving behind a baffled Salim who ran after her.

He waited patiently outside the bathroom for few minutes and then heard Noor cry out his name and then crying. Salim kept shouting out her name and begging her to open the door. He clutched the door handle, attempting to break it, but surprised to find that it wasn’t even locked. Salim rushed inside, thinking of all horrible things.

Noor looked up and handed out the pregnancy strip to him and beamed, “We will be great parents, wont we”.

Love, lost and forgotten ?

Sumita's life has never been dull. She always kept herself busy with work, household chores or attending fascinating art classes. To top it all, Mainak has always been supportive. He never stopped her from taking any ventures, he is very proud of his wife.

Like, every other day, she came back from work, conjured a fine dish for dinner and sat down with her laptop.

No comments, no updates, nothing interesting on Facebook.

Sumita turned to Orkut. Maybe something interesting to see there, another one hour for Mainak to come home.

She kept visiting the profiles of her friends, smiling and commenting. She scrolled down the profile page of a friend and stopped. Her heart skipped a beat; she longingly looked at the profile picture. Sumita could feel the terrible pain swelling up. She knew she was doing something wrong, but still clicked on the profile. Sanjay's profile borrowed the entire screen of her laptop. She kept staring at the picture.

He hasnt changed a bit. His smile is still so innocent.

Without thinking twice, Sumita, touched the picture, as if, caressing his face and immediatly retracted.

Oh! What the hell am I doing? This is wrong. This was long time ago. How can I forget I am married and happy.

She thought, but never left the page. Like a school girl,she tried going through each link, photos, info, but she was denied access to these information.

Ofcourse, how foolish of me, I am not even in his friend list and that was my decision.

Sumita, looked at the clock, another 10 mins for Mainak to come. She went to her email account. Like a trance, she opened a new mail.

To: sanjaythephotographer@gmail.com....I still think it is a silly and self proclaimed address. Anyway, what do I write to him?

Sumita rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. It was a like flashback. Sumita and Sanjay were madly in love. They met at their workplace, but it was not love at first sight. It took Sanjay quite some time to woo Sumita into one date. Sumita was always ready to be loved, months away from a crappy relationship, she was definitely looking for the perfect one and Sanjay was not at all her choice. Being born in an upper middle class family that valued education and class, she never thought a simple commerce graduate like Sanjay can be her life partner or to be more precise the life son in law of her parents.
Nevertheless, Sanjay's attitude, his mannerism played tricks on Sumita and very soon she was fighting with her own emotions.

I cannot be with him, what will my folks say. Maybe when he proposes I will tell him. I have to, this cannot happen.

What happened was, a date in a Chinese shack, amazing evening, lots of laughter. Sumita thought about him all night, but she knew she has to speak to him. She cannot let his hopes rise high. The next day, she met him and instantly told him that even if she tries, this relationship cannot have a happy ending. She cannot and will not go against her parents' wishes.
Sanjay wasnt surprised, maybe he knew this was coming. He tried, tried very hard. Later in the evening, he called her again and begged to be with her and promised that if ever she decides to leave, he will let her go, without questioning twice.

Sumita opened her eyes.

What was Sanjay thinking? Was he so sure that his charisma will work so well on her that she will never leave?

She looked at the profile picture again. Oh! He was right, maybe partially. She did fall for his charisma, his love for small things, his passion for life, him in all.

The days were amazing. They were always together, always talking, holding hands, inseperable. They went trekking, they went to the seas, they were happy. Sumita was happy. She never felt so loved and never felt so special. And she loved him in return too. Sumita smiled when she thought of their first night together. Oh! It was so embarassing, but Sanjay made her feel so comfortable. She will never forget the look in his eyes. She knew he loved her to pieces.

Like Sumita said, she never went against her parents, she did not even mention his name to them. She knew how they would react and she was scared to disappoint them in an effort to be the perfect daughter. Convincing or rejecting Sanjay was hardly the most difficult thing. Sanjay kept quiet when Sumita told him about her prospective groom. But she could feel his anger, his disappointment, the heartbreak. Sanjay tried few times, but he knew he had promised to let her go.

Oh! Sanjay, you actually thought I will never leave.

Sumita wanted to cry, she wanted to talk to him, tell him she is sorry. She hardly had time to say goodbye. She closed her eyes again, feeling numb and so strange.

I did love him. I was happy with him. God, why do I still feel for him?

Sumita jolted up when the bell rang. She closed the laptop and rushed to the door to greet Mainak. The Draft section in her mailbox kept blinking her uncomposed mail.